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August 30, 2007
My Virginia
When I lived in Virginia, and people would ask me where I was from, I would tell them "California." But by the Winter of 2004, I had spent over half my life in Virginia, and yet I still did not ever feel Virginian; not like my friends who were actually born there at least. Then I moved to New Jersey.
My reason for moving was simple enough. I desperately needed a job. Almost three years later, I finally escaped that most depressing gravity well–the Garden State–thanks in no small part to my love's insistence that I apply to grad school, coupled with her unfailing (although flawed) confidence that we could make it all happen without a hitch if we simply... made the leap.
So we leapt, and I am pleased to report we've landed... but are still tumbling. Our landing has not been completely smooth. We're juggling a mortgage (trying to sell our house in a collapsing housing market) and a rent payment, our savings is in limbo (earmarked for the house payments) so we're living off credit cards, and worst yet much of our identity documentation went missing during the move. All of this means navigating through mountains of red tape, while piling on debt we've not seen since we left VA. Add classes (and all that that entails) into the mix and you get a lot of grey hairs.
The bright side is I'm still excited about the whole school thing; more so now than before we moved. So if I don't manage to fail all my classes, I should be all right.
The only real thing with which I have to come to terms is that now when people ask where I'm from, I have to reply "New Jersey." I temper it with "most recently," but it still stings a little. My (our) experiences there were so mixed (mostly negative) that it is safe to say I (we) never wish to return.
So now I am from New Jersey, but I feel like I'm from Virginia. I guess it takes leaving a place to really be "from" it. And just as my childhood California is a distant, vanished memory, the Virginia I remember too is fast fading. I take solace that the New Jersey I remember will also someday fade as well. My only lament is that it will not vanish soon enough, and not well before my Virginia is gone.
Posted by Tacitus at August 30, 2007 08:22 PM
Comments
Know that you always have people still here in good ol' Northern Virginia should you care to come on over. It must be terrifying the leap that ya'll made - but some of the greatest things happen when you don't always know the outcome. Keep the updates a'coming.
Posted by: Kerrie at August 31, 2007 01:52 PM
I would be lying if I did not admit that some good did come out of my NJ experience. I managed to meet some really incredible people. Sadly they were too few to offset all the petty, vindictive, and in some cases down right incompetent asshats with which I had the misfortune to have to work. But that's all behind me now.
You're right. There is a sort of terror to this all, and there is elation too. Whatever the outcome, I'll do my best to convey it here.
Love to you and your family. And thanks for reading. :)
Posted by: Tacitus at September 1, 2007 12:36 AM
There is really no reason to post this - But I just wanted to let you know...and can't find a direct link to an email address for you. It's not much of a site....but I know Michael probably doesn't write a whole lot...So, if you ever wanted some general updates on the Miller Clan from VA....I typed in the URL above. Again - it's not much.
Posted by: kerrie at September 1, 2007 08:27 PM
Cool beans. I'll have a looksee.
Posted by: Tacitus at September 4, 2007 07:03 PM