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June 14, 2006
Hard Work
Sorry for the silent treatment. Life Work goes on here at the sanitarium office. I have so much to do in fact that my energies to write anything (other than the code for which they pay me not so nearly enough) have been subsumed by an overwhelming desire to simply sleep when I get home, provided I don't doze on the commute home; scary when you consider that I drive home.
Of course, when I get home, sleep is not an immediate option. There are those that hail my arrival, want to tell me about their days, and generally have me interact with (and in some way entertain) them until their respective bedtimes. So I sit, listen, occasionally glaze over, and generally succeed in coaxing semi-coherent conversation from my fatigued mind. Sleep is but a dream; the stuff of weekends.
Low morale has a draining effect on the soul, and mine is presently low. Some of this is chemical in nature; natural (biorhythms, etc.), not artificial (I know, I'm no fun :P). But a big part of it is work related. Deadline upon deadline upon deadline with no rest in between; everyday a new crisis arises that requires my seemingly unique expertise to solve.
"Give it to T. They can figure it out."
"Sorry to pull you off your own tasks, but we need a solution for this and fast."
"Great job! Now what’s the status on your own tasks?"
*sigh*
What can I say? I am a valuable resource to my team. And while I am trying to limit myself to performing one miracle per day, the need for my services outside of my own assignments makes it difficult for me to complete my own tasks timely.
Understand, I like being valued. It's quite gratifying. But this continuous needing of me is wearing on me. Being valued is important, but so is being appreciated.
There seems to be a fine line between the two: value and appreciation.
It has always struck me as odd how people will say that they appreciate all the hard work you are doing, as if the hard work itself was the critical facet of an above-and-beyond act. Would it not be more sensible to express appreciation for the accomplishment rather than the effort?
Telling me you appreciate all my hard work sounds a lot like saying, "Nice try. You'll get it right eventually." It shows that my contribution is valued, but does it really express any appreciation for my resulting accomplishments? Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive, but ofttimes I feel more insulted than complimented.
Anyways, a lot has been going on in recent weeks. Nothing bad, thankfully. Just life stuff. Sorry, I've been remiss in posting. Guess it's a matter of my working harder to keep the updates flowing. I know you appreciate all my hard work on this matter. And, hey, eventually I'll get it right! Right? ;)
Posted by Tacitus at June 14, 2006 02:25 PM