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March 21, 2005
Ver is dis Ootah anyveys?
Greetings from Salt Lake City, Ootah! I’m actually here on a business trip. I know, I know, not terribly exciting circumstances, but still.
My trip started off with a brisk 90-mile-an-hour cab ride to the airport, where in order to pass through security I was required to remove my shoes, belt, and jacket, and send them through the x-ray machine along with my carryon bag and anything else that wasn’t permanently affixed to my person. After the near strip-search, I met up with my fellow travelers and hung out in the departure lounge waiting to, well, depart. Take off was delayed due to some unspecified quarrel between the flight crew and the catering staff. Result: we departed with no food onboard, which was fine with me because it wasn’t complimentary.
Minneapolis was the sight of a brief layover, and by brief I mean running (well, it was more like a brisk walk with the people-movers accelerating us to Ludicrous Speed!) through the airport terminal to make it to our next departure gate. I’d forgotten how much fun airport people-movers can be. Outta the way! Outta the way!
The flight to Salt Lake City was full, and our seats were in the process of being handed out to standby fliers as we arrived. MWAHAHAHA!!! They had to get off, or at least move… maybe to the wheel wells or something -- I swear I later heard shrieks of terror from the luggage compartment during takeoff, but they soon faded as we reached cruising altitude. Frau Farbissina was the senior flight attendant and she did her utmost to insure that everyone was made miserable with the jumbled seating arrangements. After over eight hours in the air (total), we landed in lovely Salt Lake City surrounded by the glorious Rocky Mountains! Wow!
Downtown Salt Lake City is quite beautiful: impeccably clean and roomy with broad avenues and pedestrian signs painted on the ground encouraging walkers to look both ways before crossing the street. Even more peculiar are the walk/don’t walk signs that play bird noises (as audio cues for the visually impaired maybe?) depending on whether it’s time to walk, not walk, or run for your life!
We capped the day off with a trip to Murphy’s, a pub near the hotel – a pub that played nary an Irish song, but made a honest Black and Tan: not that crap that comes in the bottle but Guinness and Harp drawn into the same glass. The Guinness floats atop the Harp so lovely as it does. Yes, yes, drink them up, yum! To do our bit of drinking, and eating mind you, for we did eat as well (hell, we damn near feasted!), we had to purchase a temporary club membership. For it is the law in Salt Lake City, and maybe even in all of Ootah, that establishments primarily serving alcohol (ie. Bars) are in fact private clubs and may only be frequented by members looking to drink. Four bucks later and we’re members (albeit temporary ones), and the Black and Tan starts to flow. A few hours later we float back to the hotel in high spirits and adjourn to our respective rooms for night – where I promptly got hit with a weird bout of insomnia or something because here I am at oh-my-god-thirty in the morning posting this rambler.
Good morning, and good night.
Posted by Tacitus at March 21, 2005 03:09 AM
Comments
Love the people-mover piccy - muy artistico! What airline were you on? How long are you there? You should take the tour of the Mormon Temple if you have time, just be sure to have a fake address ready when they *force* you to fill out a "comment card" (aka "Personal Information so our horde of missionaries can find you later in an attempt to convert you over and over again Card"). But really, it's quite interesting - those Mormons sure know how to build temples (even if you can't go inside them). When I was there, there was a quickie 1.5 hour or so tour from the airport, designed for people there on layovers.
Posted by: Rob at March 21, 2005 11:55 AM
I flew on Northwest Airlines and will be here three days. I hope to have time to play tourist on day three. Thanks for the warning. I'll use your name and address then. :P
Posted by: Tacitus at March 22, 2005 12:49 AM
Uh, those of us of Irish ancestry might take exception to your definition of a Black and Tan. As everyone knows, Guinness and Harp are the ingredients for a Half and Half...
Nice blog, BTW!
Posted by: Allan at March 23, 2005 12:12 AM
You say tomayto, I say tomahto: Black and Tan FAQ
Posted by: Tacitus at March 23, 2005 12:24 AM