one.o.eight

January 20, 2010

Anted Up

Got my initial paperwork into today: Thesis Advisory Committee and Program of Study Approval forms. So now I can graduate in May provided I successfully pass my comprehensive oral exam and defend my thesis (which is still a long way away from being realized).

In the words of the immortal Shang Tsung, "It has begun!"

Oh, and the weather was freakin' gorgeous by the afternoon today. Of course I felt ridiculous carrying around my sweater and heavy coat both of which were needed in the early morning.

Posted by Tacitus at 07:59 PM | Comments (0)

December 14, 2009

Signs of Movement

The early morning fog was thick and delightfully eerie when I stepped out to meet my carpool today. Across the street, beyond the berm that obfuscates an aborted housing development project, a cacophony of small birds reached out through the haze to further fuel the mood. Thoughts of Alfred Hitchcock. Their unceasing argument over pecking order vanished for me with the closing thump of the car door. As we departed a black cloud rose up from behind the berm circling, swirling southward bound.

Today my student login was rejected. My account has expired. A sign perhaps that I too have stayed too long? Who do I squawk at about migrating?

On the brighter side I have a thesis topic.

Posted by Tacitus at 01:53 PM | Comments (0)

September 15, 2009

Raining

It's raining today.

It's raining and my carpool abandoned me. That or they got washed away in the deluge.

So here at home I stay.

Maybe this is a blessing and I'll be able to get some work done today—and actually make some progress on... it.

Posted by Tacitus at 09:26 AM | Comments (0)

September 11, 2009

Octennial

Posted by Tacitus at 08:33 AM

September 08, 2009

Stagger Stagger Crawl Crawl...

Funny how difficult it can be to reboot an old habit. Can it be that writing has become passé for me? Or rather is it that I've simply stopped talking? My FB page reflects this. While regularly documenting my progress in such wizbang apps as Vampire Wars, Mafia Wars, and even Farmville, it too is otherwise silent.

I find myself instead these days consumed with the pursuit of my elusive thesis, and also unceasingly haunted by a desire to do absolutely nothing when I'm not actively on that chase. It's quite frustrating and distracting. I end up so fixated on my lack of progress, that I lose sight of where I am and how to proceed.

So great is my frustration that I'm missing out on the little things that make life enjoyable to live. And I've come to recognize that I've been this way for a rather long time; well back before the returning to school thing.

Case in point: this past 3-day weekend (Labor Day in the USA) was Dragon*Con in Atlanta, GA; one of the most awesome geekfests on the East Coast, and a mere hour away. I didn't go. Why? Oh, I didn't have any money during the 12-month plan-ahead-phase leading up to it this year, and then it slipped my mind, and more distractions piled on until at the last moment—despite the excited preambles of local friends—I realized too late that it was this weekend. So I had to settle for FB pics and vids from friends who went. Maybe next year.

Pfft. Same mantra, different year. Who am I kidding? I've got to kick this grey cloud over my head so I can start enjoying living—and I'm not just talking about my thesis here.

The good news, I guess, is that I am at last seriously working on fixing this (the cloud), but the changes are very slow in coming. Old habits—the ones you wish you could shake—die the hardest, and the ones you wish you could keep are so damned difficult to sustain.

Bugger. What the hell am I doing here? A master degree? What was I thinking? These are the questions that roll around in my head these days. Hopefully I can just keep swimming while I shake them loose and see this thing through. What else have I got?

Posted by Tacitus at 03:38 PM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2009

Defibrillation

Got some things on my mind and so am considering rebooting this thing. Writing is cathartic for me, and I occasionally need catharsis. It's supposed to be healthy.

Or maybe I'll just post shit here that makes me laugh... like this picture of Eugene Levy's cat! HA!

All right, let's see if I reignite this candle. Stay tuned?

Posted by Tacitus at 04:46 PM | Comments (4)

February 23, 2009

Final Word

You'll find me on Facebook.

Posted by Tacitus at 01:56 PM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2008

1914-1918

Posted by Tacitus at 08:57 AM | Comments (0)

May 29, 2008

Click To Pause

With me no longer working for/with people worthy of little more than being made fish food, I find in recent times that I have little to complain about. And it was the complaints which fueled this writing effort all along whether I realized it or not. Most of the laughter along the way was just filler.

There has been so much negativity in my life--too much for too long--that even when I felt upbeat, positive, full of life, there seemed these spectres lurking inside me waiting to burst forth and fuck it all up. I know. That's just a bunch of metaphorical junk. You're right.

But in recent weeks events have unfolded which have opened my eyes to some pretty damned important things in my life, and I don't want to lose them. Right now I'm just trying to understand them, more so understand her. We've been together for a long time, longer than any of our friends were ever joined, and it's like I'm seeing her for the first time; and hopefully, if there is any hope, she is seeing me anew too.

So I'm taking a pause from writing to focus on her and this thing we have made together--this life--to tease out the good from the bad so that we can start again to move together in step as we once did (I hope); like we should have been doing all along. Here marks the beginning of a redo. I want to muster the courage to (once again) introduce myself to her and see if I can't coax this beautiful woman, who has given so much to me over the years while hiding so much of herself away while doing it, out from behind her diaphanous veil that I might meet the real her... here... now... and possibly for the first time (ever). And all this without breaking her.

When I started this thing, all I asked for was 108 years. What I failed to convey (to myself and others) was that I only ever truly wanted that time to be spent with her at my side every step of the way.

Posted by Tacitus at 06:08 PM | Comments (2)

May 07, 2008

Spring Finality - Part 2

Like an overcooked microwave burrito... *DING* I'm done. Not enough energy left for a 'woo' or even a 'hoo'. I'm going to bed.

Posted by Tacitus at 11:36 AM | Comments (0)